These are the social butterflies who float in and out of our lives.
Here’s my disclaimer for what I am about to say….
If by chance you recognize yourself because your life and my life have crossed paths somewhere. Don’t be upset and just know that this is only my view of our encounters.
If you don’t recognize yourself in this personal observation, you know you are a proven friend or caring acquaintance I treasure. 2018 can be a new beginning for each of us personally to deepen relationships, explore new horizons and have explosive growth in our businesses.
We have all had the experience of crossing paths with what might be called a “social butterfly” personality somewhere in life, maybe many times or even regularly. Why is it that the social butterfly type of personality fits right in to any group? Maybe it’s the bulldozer way that person takes over and tries to be all things to all situations. I’ll refer to these people as simply “butterfly.”
Is it because the butterfly’s activity or input appears as a charitable or caring contribution? This contribution makes the butterfly appear important and to shine above the group.
The contribution is usually good but what is the motive behind all this?
Does it make sense or seem fair that this is usually an adult, more often female than male, ignoring the presence of some specific individuals in a common group. Maybe the butterfly avoids connecting with or including a person that has a strong opinion or personality making the butterfly feel fearful or insecure, maybe even envious for some crazy reason. Some people just aren’t willing to understand others or find a common denominator to appreciate and genuinely connect with them.
Do butterflies try to bolster their own image because they are so insecure and need to have people praising and making over them all the time? Why does this happen?
The super butterfly is good at creating closed groups. Clique-like closed circles are a personal choice and are fine as long as they are outside of an open-to-all group or organization, like a church.
What I don’t understand is the occasional butterfly who professes to have Christ-like values and love for others yet bristles and ignores a simple hello. You’ve seen it, body language and facial expression tell it all.
We all have our differences, our preferences, our routines. But, we all are equal. Isn’t it time we show respect for all people? Here is my challenge for 2018. The point is not to be best friends and hooked at the hip, let’s just show each other respect and know we all have unique but equal value.
Not every butterfly has the same pattern but it’s good to be aware of these characteristics when you are investing in a relationship that should be based on trust and mutual respect for many years to come.
And, know that in my Facebook groups and courses, each of you is equal and has equal value!
You are invited to share your comments below this post or at the Fort Worth and West Facebook group to interact with me and other readers.
The comments that follow are mine and those gleaned from www.psychologytoday.com.
The social butterfly is usually the one who isolates anyone new and prevents that new person from fitting in unless (and this is a BIG unless) it is obvious that that new person will bolster the ego of the butterfly. That’s just the way it works.
- A butterfly is VERY social and easygoing; can be either male or female. Usually these people don’t belong to a particular group, but rather jump from one group to another. They are somewhat accepted in all of them, but usually don’t have deep friendship connections in any of them.
- The butterfly makes friends based on who another person knows or what another person has. They are attracted to their own likeness.
- They can’t resist telling you about the important people they know, or the important person they know who has connections.
- Butterflies go to great lengths to look like “they belong” and make sure that you and other people they hang out with do, too. The common denominators they seek are for their own benefit.
- They accumulate “friends” in large numbers who they really don’t know well or don’t connect with on an intimate level.
- They try to control social circles and have no qualms about dumping, substituting and excluding a “friend” from the group. They may resort to belittling and gossiping to get the job done.
- They enjoy emotionally sharing their tales of woe and the situations where they are key to solving the situation of someone less fortunate or in distress.